


a knight at your command

by thursdayknight



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Kissing, M/M, Post-Season/Series 03, Trauma, Working shit out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thursdayknight/pseuds/thursdayknight
Summary: If Billy thinks it's going to be that easy to get rid of Steve, he's wrong.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 4
Kudos: 115





	a knight at your command

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brawlite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brawlite/gifts).
  * Inspired by [a king under your control](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20300584) by [brawlite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brawlite/pseuds/brawlite). 



Billy runs away and Steve tracks him down. Like he always does. Like he plans to always do. 

He finds him hiding out behind the school, smoking a cigarette and looking pissed off and wrecked but wrecked in a way Steve is pretty sure no one else ever sees. No one else seems to ever see past the surface with Billy, they just see his golden hair, his shirt cracked open, that easy confidence, the sharp smiles and they think that's it. That's all there is to him. Steve knows better. Knows how dangerously wrong that is. How _bullshit_ that is.

"No one has ever been nice to you, not once in your entire life," Steve says, like they're in the middle of a conversation because they basically are. "So I'm expecting this to be hard. I'm expecting this to take a long time and I'm prepared to wait this out because I'm patient like that. And maybe, in case you haven't noticed, giving up isn't exactly the sorta thing I know how to do. Not when I know - not when I know -" Steve stops short, heaving deep breaths, sucking up what feels like all the air in the room, even though they're actually outside right now.

"With Nancy - Nancy was - I took a step back and I noticed - noticed she wasn't ever in love with me like I loved her. Noticed she never looked at me the way she looked at him. But you? You look at me and I know. _I know._ So you can lie to me all you want, try to burn me down and try to fight me all you want, I know better. I see the way you look at me and _I know better."_

Billy laughs bitterly. "You can't save me, Steve," he says. "You think you're this patron saint of lost causes, think you can force me back together, make me whole, but you can't. You _can't._ Broken things like me can't be fixed and whatever you think you see, you're wrong."

It's probably more honest than Billy's ever been with him. More honest than he's ever been with anyone, maybe. 

But the thing is - _the thing is_ \- Steve knows he's not wrong. He's not good at a lot of things, he knows he's not - but this? Reading Billy? He knows he's good at this and he knows that the look Billy is forcing into his eyes - derision and scorn - it's bullshit. And something about that pisses Steve off, makes him spit out a whole diatribe without even meaning to, saying, "Patron saint of lost causes, huh? And how long have you had _that one_ saved up? 'Cause I know that's not the sort of thing you just come up with on the spot. I know you had that prepared, you're always so prepared to just cut and run. But also, also, you're not broken! An asshole, yes, but not broken. Or if you are then there are other people who broke you and I very badly want to shove my fist through their faces!" Steve uses the words _other people_ and _their faces_ but from the look Billy's giving him it's clear they both know he means Neil. 

"He's a bastard," Steve says, both quieter and more enraged at the same time. This conversation, these thoughts are drawing out of him the fire that Billy was trying to force out earlier. It's a fire he doesn't have much need for lately, not unless he's fighting monsters but he wishes he could use it to fight this monster, the thing that calls himself a man, calls himself Billy's father, wishes he could go back and prevent that monster from ever convincing Billy he was broken, worthless, not worth the effort.

"You think - you think -" All Steve wants to do is push Billy against the wall behind them and kiss him. But then that's what got them in this mess in the first place, so instead he just keeps talking. "You're not worthless, you're not a waste of time and you're not going to get rid of me that easily."

For this, all Billy has for him is one word: "Why?" 

And that, that Steve doesn't know, he doesn't know why. He doesn't know why they went from punching to fucking, doesn't know why he wants, no _needs,_ to kiss Billy as badly as he does, he just knows he does. "I don't know, do I need a reason?" 

It's clearly the wrong thing to say as it has Billy turning away from him, so Steve reaches out to grab his arm, which only makes him pull away more. Which just frustrates Steve more and - 

"Would you just -" he says with no idea what words should come next so he just winds up repeating himself. "Just -"

"Just?" Billy parrots back, making the word sound cruel and sharp, pointed enough to hurt. "What?" The single word is barbed as it comes out of Billy's mouth and it stings as it brushes over Steve's skin. 

"Stop being such a fucking ass!" Steve runs a hand through his hair, leaving it sitting spread out awkwardly on his head. "Stop and just let me-" 

He does what he knows is the worst possible, absolute dumbest thing he could do and he pushes Billy up against the wall and kisses him. But this time, oh, this time Billy _lets him._ This time Billy is fisting his hands in the collar of Steve's shirt and moaning into it before breaking away and refusing to look Steve in the eye.

"Just-" Steve says again, pressing Billy more firmly into the wall and running his fingertips down the side of Billy's face to his jaw, turning Billy's face towards him. Billy's determined not to break though and keeps his eyes so firmly directed at the ground it almost looks like his eyes are closed. Steve runs his fingers under Billy's chin to the other side of his jaw, turning his head again and Billy lets him, but he still won't _look_ at him so Steve does the only thing he can think of and he kisses him again, tries to put every feeling, every emotion he can't name into the kiss. 

And Billy lets him.

And for now, that's enough. 


End file.
